Who are you not to bloom?
We are coming back around to Resolution season; the time of the year where we make promises to ourselves and talk about them with our friends over rituals of brunch and bottomless mimosas.
Many of us have desires already anticipated by the corporate holiday season, articulated somewhere on some cute mug or calendar or wall hanging, waiting to be bought so that we can feel stronger in our commitment to ourselves for the next month or three.
So, from now until around January 10th-ish, our resolve is strong, our visions are clear, and then... we fall back into the same habits somewhere between Mid-January & Mid-March. The wheel of the year turns, and we’re hit by a little panic somewhere in July when we ask ourselves, where did the time go? I was just taking a cheat day or a 5 minute break… I meant to get right back.
By the time November rolls around, many of us are looking at the rest of the year like a child with middling to below average grades the day before grades close, resigned and resolved to try to be better in the “New Year”. The next grading period.
Does the cycle sound familiar?
Is this a visitation from the ghost of New Year’s future?
It’s not your fault. We live in a society where we have been taught to believe that our closeness to our spirituality is measured by what we ‘manifest’ materially, that the spiritual and Divine are simply tools to an end in “leveling up” our lives, and that aspirations are the same thing as our purpose. Most of us have been taught to approach life in this backwards manner. This type of spirituality substitutes accumulation for conversation, for relationship, for truth.
We’ve been taught that the miraculous doesn’t really exist, and when it does, it’s spontaneous, inconsistent, unreliable & unsustainable. We’ve been taught that spirituality, while nice, is more of an accessory to a life worth living, not the central axis around which everything else flows. Many of us are scarred refugees from christianity, afraid to devote ourselves to the development of our true inherent Divinity & power, because of how much we have “lost” to the lie of a punitive universe & a pleasure hating god.
What does any of this have to do with your resolutions?
Well… the tea is, you don’t need not one more resolution. Not one more vision board. Not one more bucket list.
Your issue isn’t your resolve. Your issue isn’t your strength or will-power or karma. There’s not something inherently wrong with you that you don’t reach your goals. You’re not stupid or weak or missing something.
The issue is the cycle of perpetual aspiration.
You see, medically speaking, aspiration is something you choke on.
When you approach life from the perspective of aspiration, what you experience is blockage. Most of us in this society have been taught our whole lives that there is some goal outside of ourselves that is more important than who WE are. We’ve been taught that if we are deserving enough, we will be materially rewarded by the Giant Cookie-Giver in the Sky.
Believe it or not, it can be even worse for those of us stuck in cycles of aspiration who actually do reach those instagram-worthy goals. Now the loneliness, the emptiness, the pain that we feel inside is met externally by a chorus of envy cloaked in exhortations to ‘gratitude’.
If you haven’t ‘manifested’ your ideal life, at least you can still hold on to the delusion that there is a goal out there that, once achieved, will make you actually believe you are worthy of good shit.
So… what are you saying Joy? That you can’t transform your life and you should just ‘settle’?
What I’m saying is that past a certain point, past a certain level of development, real transformation doesn’t come from aspiration. The point of pain in your life isn’t asking for a trip to Greece and a flying dress, although hashtag beautiful. The point of pain in your life is asking you to give YOU your attention, your devotion and your love. It is from this place that lives are changed and bliss enters. What we think of as miracles are the by-product of a deep love for ourselves & an unfolding, orgasmic relationship with Divine as Lover.
Sounds too good to be true?
It is, until you are ready to allow it to be true.
It is, until you are ready to allow the truth.
Still, Spirit beckons us to come, to be enveloped in an understanding of reality that is not beholden to any man or man made thing. An understanding of reality that is not beholden to the laws of fear, the laws of lack, or the laws of aspiration. We are beckoned to be the Beloved, held within the ever unfolding embrace of an infinite abundance, opulence & luscious love that shows up through us and as us, whenever we choose. If we so choose, right now, we have the ability to feel into that deep, infinite well of grace and nourishing glory that is waiting for our consent, our singing YES, to feed us, replenish us, and transform our understanding of the NTR of reality, and thereby transforming our relationship to the circumstantial nature of our symbolic world.
This is where goal setting ends and REAL miracles begin.
This is where we put away the tools of childhood ‘manifestation’ and walk into full, lush, mature relationship with ourselves & our magic. This is where we begin to make miracles with our breath and our yes, candles optional. This is where the steps we take are a co-creative conjuring of Beauty, not a desperate whinging or bellacose demanding. This is where we surrender the lies of oppression and separation and lack and scarcity and aloneness over and over and over again to trust in the truth of the miracle singing in our bones, in our blood and in between the fabric of our DNA and molecules and atoms. This is how we change the world, beginning with our world. Beginning with the truth. Beginning with trust.
If the vision boards and the manifestations and the rituals and the affirmations and the positive thinking and the motivational speeches and classes and courses and shit ain’t doing it for you anymore, don’t get you going anymore; if you’re ready to hop off the wheel of perpetual aspiration and come home, maybe it’s time for you to move from the kiddie pool to the Ocean.
That’s why I was called to reveal the Juice, a 3 month, One-On-One sacred container to support your shift from hustler to beloved, from desperation to sovereignty, from scarce to sacred, from demanding to surrender, from stress to ease, from lack to abundance, from suppression to joy, from limitation to limitless.
The Juice is where we play big. Where we live in the miracle and not the aspiration. Where we learn that Divine knows our name, and it is indeed Sacred. The Juice is where we remember the opulence and abundance that’s available to us, not January 1st, but right now.
If you were indeed made to move mountains, if your calling is enormous, If you came to change the world, if you’re ready to move from aspiration to embodiment- The Juice is for you.
There are 10 spots available for The Juice 19/20 Winter Cohort. E-mail me for an interview here.
Love, Rage, & Opulent Remembrance,
If you interview and are accepted before December 1st, 2019, you will receive access to Opulent Insperience, deep transformative ritual medicine for the Winter Solstice- one of the most energetically & alkhemically powerful days of the year (& my birthday so you know it will be lit!)